Deciphering My Dress

I don't have much diversity in my wardrobe. In fact, my fairly orthodox outfits are almost studious in their dullness. True, I have a few novelty tees and nicer shirts, but in general my presentation never varies far from the 90s tried and true jeans and t-shirt motif.

However, if you study closely, you can tell what kind of day it is by my outfit. (I'm guessing this is true of most people, especially girls, and thus any "Did you read that in Cosmo" comments are hereby addressed with a simple: Back off, this is MY blog!)

For example, today I woke up, tired, cold, and groggy. I knew the day would be warm, so I nixed the XXXL Provo High hoodie, despite the sore temptation to suffer through the heat stroke. I didn't want anything too fitted because I was feeling sloppy and fat, and didn't want to have to think about such taxing activities as posture. So, jeans (duh) and a one-size, unflattering, black t-shirt was the final verdict. If Rosemary-land, this also entitles me to eat like a 6-year-old.

Now, if I had elected to go with something colored or fitted or remotely cute, it would have been selective snacking and water all day. Seeing as I already looked like grunge-stricken teenager, it was soda, chocolate, crackers, chocolate frosted flakes, and 1/3 loaf of sourdough bread with jam. Mmmmmmmm. It really didn't help my roll-in-each-hand image that my hair was lankly hanging down either side of my face. Hey, at least I put make up on today. (For those of you who haven't seen me regularly, that's becoming an increasingly rare event.)

And so, as I sit here munching on the heel of a sourdough loaf, I think of a surprised Michael Cera exclaiming, "Bread makes you fat?!" and wonder if tomorrow, it will be cold enough for an over sized sweater.

Here's to hoping!