I have a legion of teachers and students trying to convince me to teach, so I thought I'd share the reasons why I can't be a teacher.
1. Grading: It sucks. It sucks so bad. Most kids write the same essays or answers and after a while you begin to forget what words mean and why you're there and what the sun looks like . . .
2. Excuses: I swear, if I have to listen to one more excuse about how it took a kid an hour to talk to their teacher during lunch (which is of course why they showed up with a drink from Del Taco), I might just scream. Plus, they all have an excuse as to why their homework is not done or why they didn't do the journal entry that they were working on for 20 minutes. And what good to they think showing up 10 minutes before the end of school on the last day of the term will do? When you tell them too bad, they whine to the administration, who then tell you to pass the little beasts because our football team just can't loose the only player that can run in a straight line!
3. Crushes: It's creepy weird when high schoolers ask you to Homecoming or bring you an apple or sit and try to impress you with their sports prowess during lunch. #1: It's a felony, #2: they really aren't as cool as they think they are, and #3: ew.
4. Patience: I have none, and supposedly you're not allowed to yell at students. Or punch them in the face.
5. Bureaucratic BS: Administrators micromanage with no respect for the challenges of the classroom. I hate hoop-jumping.
6. Repetition: I hate repeating myself, but if I don't repeat something 6 or 7 times, no one remembers it let alone does it, but it's my fault because I didn't repeat it 8 times.
7. Angry Parents: Remember those kids who lie about stuff? They tell their parents all kinds of crap about why their failing (the truth being they don't turn stuff in) and then have their parents email the teacher about how the teacher is being unfair and has too high expectations. How to correct them without accusing their kid of being a weasel . . .
8. Co-workers: Other teachers are petty and mean and try to steal your batteries and printer paper.
9. Food: You can't buy freakin' caffeine in the vending machines and food is scarce and mediocre at best.
10. I don't wanna.
I love this list!!! it is every reason why I would NEVER teach...although that whole student crush thing...GROSS!
ReplyDeleteI was one of those kids who didn't do my work, and then had my mom call and complain, so my teachers would pass me. And it worked every time. Also, I used to eat lunch in Ms. Bates' classroom, but I didn't have a crush on her. I just liked her more than I liked being bumped into, and hugged by girls I don't know, and followed around by creepy freshman. High school is awful.
ReplyDeleteThe student crush thing is REALLY gross. I do not get it. I never had a crush on any teachers ever. I always thought of them as really old.
ReplyDeleteAnd Megan, no offense, but I hate letters from parents! But eating lunch in teachers' classrooms is totally fine. Just don't flirt with them.